I'm Wide Awake it's Tuesday.

So, I don't go to see my therapist anymore. Which basically means I will not have anywhere to assert minor grievances and speak about my all sorts of tomfoolery.  I guess today I will write what I would say to my therapist.

My mother is a very inconsiderate person.  She puts herself before everyone, and does not think about the feelings of others before she speaks.  Though we have been having superficial fun lately, mostly with my cat, she remains immature and an unfit parent. Maybe I can take advantage of this behavior and go to the mall? 

I think I'm having commitment issues. I have no desire to even remotely consider a serious relationship.   I have learned this through my actions as of late.  Is this because I only like getting what I want? For example, a guy wants me, so I cannot, by default, like them? Or is it my plummeting self-worth that is preventing me from believing that I am worth more than a vodka drink and a sofa fuck. I suppose that was a question. I think all in all, I would rather just be bad then have to live up to being good. 

I am ever annoyed by "it's complicated" yet it seems like I strive to put myself in those situations.  I would like to believe this is my subconscious desire to create good art.  I know what is required of me. 

 It's such a Tuesday.  I used to not spell Tuesday correctly.  Made for some bad days in 7th grade, or was it 6th... I had Mr. Marino... Oh God and Matt Joseph. He made fun of me so much. Wonder where he is now? Wonder if anyone will be writing a blog in 10 years about how much I make fun of them?