You know that feeling you get when everything seems like it's not real, and it's in a movie or book or something? Every little dramatic thing you're feeling just seems unreal, and like it's being laid out for you by some cruel writer. Well, that's me. And I can't tell if this author plans on ending the book soon, or if it's going to be a series. Either way. Life's far too climactic, and, frankly, I really hate it.
I've developed this cough, that manifests only at night through the early morning, but consequently, I've lost my voice. I think this author may also have a voodoo doll of me. Or, which is the far more likely, my character was not all that important to the plot, and I'm being killed off.
Whatever.
But yeah. My character, or me, whichever, is the most uninspired I've ever been. I can't paint, write, poem, nothing. And it is manifesting physically in my lack of voice. I can't talk to my cat, or talk on the phone, or order a drink. Or. Explain myself.
Something's not right. So. Author, can you do me a solid? Uncomplicate, and give me a muse.
You know what's funny? I re-read this, and I'm not going into the details that I used to love. So, suffer, readers. I'm uninspired, and I'm probably past my prime. I'm holding back a little, not going to lie, but it's still nonsense/rubbish/any word for "sucks" and trite.
Well, I've taken my sedatives tonight. I should be asleep soon.
So I was hanging out with a friend of mine last night. He showed me his old Myspace and I listened to songs he wrote / recorded back in the day. He then asked me if I had a Xanga (note: my friend is Japanese American). So I went and tried to see if I remembered my Xanga account, and after about 5 tries, I got in and it said that it has been 1,924 days since I have last logged in. Reading my old blog posts was a hoot, I have never been so determined to go back in time and beat my 15 year old self up.
ReplyDeleteAnyways, it said I had like 2 friends or subscribers or something, and one of'm was you.
http://ali02646.xanga.com/
Was this you in your "prime"
?
Actually, yeah. I probably was in my prime. It's funny to read that. I was so young. Virginal, yet, the same. Just an utterly depressed dreamer, begging for a boy's attention. That's essentially me now, except I drink way more,and i paint. And I can write a sonnet.
ReplyDeleteLOLWTF Xanga, myspace, facebook, twitter, blog?
Yeah, after reading through mine, I never realized how much of a nazi emo bitch I was. Like, I had no appreciation for anything and pretty much just saw things as black or white.
ReplyDelete