I have learned a lot. Here they are. Numbered, I guess, but in no particular rank.
1. Doctors just want to make bank, or not get sued. If you are sick, use the internet and Walgreens. In the case of an OB/GYN, do not bother them unless you are married and pregnant (by your husband). Anything else, like switching a prescription or hemorrhaging can wait 6-8 weeks.
2. If you are old enough to drive, do not wake your parents up for any reason, whatsoever. Doing so will only escalate the problem. You are no longer 6, so wait until lunch.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, expect a friendship with someone who has hurt you physically to pan out positively.
4. When you "grow apart," do not buy your distant or ex friend a birthday or christmas gift. Chances are, they already forgot your middle name and phone number.
5. If you are in love with anyone who loves someone else, give up. Unless you are better than the "someone else" at something. If not, chances are, half the other fish in the sea are in love with her too.
6. Love something inanimate unconditionally. Preferably something not fragile.
7. Do not tell anyone how you really feel about living or dying. It will more than likely inconvenience them, and even though it is the last thing you want to hear, you are not as important as you think. Unless you are paying them to care. (i.e. therapists, psychiatrists, hotlines.)
8. Entropy is the only real truth. Look it up.
9. Secrets aren't actually secret. "Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead."
10. Create something that is beautiful just for you. There is a good chance that if you create something for someone else, they will either not notice, or they will not care nearly as much as you did creating it.
11. Sex, drugs, rock and roll, and alcohol aren't bad unless they are the only reason you do something.
12. Love animals. They are just as wonderful as humans, and can do way less to hurt your feelings. Take precaution in doing so; most sharks are not friendly, and will hurt you physically. Note: #3.
13. Most things mean things. Notice more things.
14. Do what you believe. The stuff you hear via media is such bullshit. Well, I guess, just say to yourself, "Who is getting paid to say this and how much?" And then decide if you agree.
15. Everything can and will break. Bones, promises, your favorite item. This should not be a surprise considering entropy.
16. I think more people are mad about being late than they really let off. Be on time.
17. In any case, the truth is the best option. Two wrongs don't make a right.
18. You are NOT cooler if you have a personalized license plate.
19. Eat healthy. But don't forget about Dairy Queen, Freeze Pops, Ramen, or your favorite pizza.
20. Sleep is great.
21. Whoever made up that whole, "If you love someone, let them go," concept, must have been a masochist. If you love someone, it's better if they love you too. And if they do not, weigh some serious pro's and con's before you "let them go."
22. The sunshine really does cure a lot. Better combined with a good book, a good playlist, or a good conversationalist. But never without sunscreen. If ANYTHING it will save you money in the future.
23. Beauty actually is in the eye of the beholder. Mirrors don't like anyone and cameras only like a few. Assholes will behold the typical.
24. Real comedy is wonderful. So is real drama. Take a break from bestsellers and blockbusters. Good shit is out there. However, saying you are "indie" is not actually synonymous with it's actual meaning. There is a good chance that "indie" nowadays means you used to be scene, but ran out of make up, or money for shopping at hot topic. Or you are a musical douchebag who makes up bands so you can seem unique.
25. Unique as a good thing stopped in pre-kindergarten. Everybody knows it's about your wallet, your rack, or how many facebook friends you have.
26. If you have a child, it is a responsibility. Seeing 60 or so pictures of a new mommy or daddy drunk as skunks disheartens me. You have a kid because you are ready to bring someone into the world. If you are not, there are two "a" words. Or at least responsibility.
27. If you mean something honestly and truly, there is no reason you should not act upon it.
28. If everyone looked like R-Patz and Megan Fox, the world would be pretty awful to live in. If you have/are anything physically like them, it is a blessing, and don't say you're ugly.
29. Death is imminent. Seriously. Eternal life may not be real, but death totally is.
30. Read blogs. People make them for reasons. I make them for my one or two readers. Or as as if it were a diary I wanted people to read.
That's all I can think of in my migraine ridden body. If I had a funeral-themed party, would you go?
y'know? this is the most heartfelt thing ive read all week.
ReplyDeletewhichmcqueen.