"I have an exoskeleton and big red claws"

If I am a lobster, then you are allergic to shellfish.  And I want you to cook me anyways, but your reaction will come about through dermal or systemic contact.  Even if you breathe too close.   Just wanted to be a pet.  Some facts about my arthropod friends:

we make 31.8 billion dollars in trade annually

we have 10 legs and front claws

we only are cannibalistic in captivity

it is not unusual for us to live 100 years

though many believe that we have no pain receptors, we do in fact experience pain and suffering

the most common way of killing us is by boiling us alive, or cutting us in half, lengthwise

chapter 10 of alice in wonderland is called "the lobster quadrille" 

when you band our claws shut, they atrophy

we have blue blood

Cutting. Lobsters.

Misleading title. I don't "cut" anymore. But I did get a haircut, and I am cutting ties. 

I think I am seriously done sleeping with anyone who will. I know I say that all the time, but I think I might have a crush on someone and I want to relish in that. 

If I were an animal I'd be a lobster. And I'd be imprisoned in an Asian restaurant tank.  I'd want you to choose me.  Maybe you would, and maybe you'd eat me.  That'd be all okay.  Or maybe you would buy me and cook me for yourself.  Or your girlfriend. Or your boyfriend.  That'd be painful, and I'd turn bright bright red and scream real loud.  Or maybe you'd adopt me as a pet and name me and cuddle.  That'd be ideal.  But maybe you're a vegetarian and you don't eat lobster.  Or maybe you hate Chinese food so you will never find or meet me. That is probably the case.  Just in case, I'll wait. 

-Ali. The lobster.