8.07.2009

A Word I Don't Like, but Truth: Haphazards.








Lately, I've been thinking. About everything that has already happened. I then realized that I am turned on by nostalgia. When I am visited by ghost of ali past, my heart races and I smile and delve quietly into my stimulated self. It is even better when I can get someone from my past to play along. Even thinking of the most painful memories I have give me this sick, satisfactory, tingling sensation all over, better than any artificial invigoration.

F# and Bm sound really lovely together.

I went to Walmart and noticed probably 10 or 12 people with lazy eyes. Some people even had two lazy eyes. Is that possible/why all gather at Walmart?

On occasion, I desperately wish for some sort of detector that alerts me to something or someone that is worth while. It seems as though at my tender age, all I manage to collect are frivolous or dangerous nouns, and I would much prefer something more salutary, please. I want to say that I have found this, but you never really know until it becomes the past. In which case, even if entirely abominable, I would enjoy its memory.

From an old class in high school, I found a scrap of paper that I had saved. It is now tacked to my wall. To describe it quickly, it is an attempt at faith. More in depth, it is a manifesto for existentialists. I once battled activism against existentialism, and activism lost. I now wonder if it is possible to be both in love and an existentialist. Not to say that I am in love, by any means. Goodness. I have merely an infatuation similar to those experienced in ages 11-14. However, if I were to say I were in love, could I also call myself an existentialist? Some existentialists believe in a higher power, as a sort of cure to the absurdity of life itself, and most higher powers require an unconditional love for such. I would merely adore another human. But is this allowed?

I really do love living creatures. I think all the kingdoms are fascinating. I love to be a vegetarian, and donate money to helping animals. There is one particular creature that I have a beef with right now, though, and that is one of the insects that inhabit our fine Earth. I understand that Mosquitos are food for many amphibians, given their own amphibious nature, and birds and bats also feed upon them, but I cannot seem to sleep through the night without considering amputation for the bites I have received on their behalf. DEET is such a harmful chemical, and I really don't like the smell. If only we could co-exist without the extreme itch.

The neighborhood watch guy, I want to be him.




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